Three Parables

by b.c.



A big dog wandered into another dog's yard. The trespassing dog was big, burly, hairy and altogether a nasty son of a bitch. However, the defending dog was even bigger and burlier and hairier and he quickly killed this offending dog that dared to invade his territory. Two days later, another dog entered his yard. He rose to meet this new threat. Problem was, this new dog was even bigger and burlier and hairier than the defending dog. It was ugly. The new dog massacred the old dog and took over his yard. Many weeks passed when, suddenly, an absolutely gigantic dog entered the yard. The defending dog didn't have a chance. He was slaughtered. The yard seemed impregnable with this new dog on guard until one day when the biggest dog on the face of the earth came to challenge him. The guarding dog put up a tremendous struggle but in the end he was ripped limb from limb. So there this overwhelming and monstrous dog stood and it was there that he died, never realizing that he died of cancer as a result of toxic waste which had been dumped there years before.


There once was a man who possessed a horrible, raised, brown wart on his nose. People were constantly mocking and ridiculing him (god, they had so much fun!). He tried everything known to science in an attempt to rid himself of this hideous malady but each time, the wart would grow back. Finally, in desperation, he killed himself. When the autopsy was performed, the pathologist removed the wart. It never grew back.


A woman lies wounded on a busy street. She is bleeding and in desperate need of medical care. A man approaches and says, "Can I help you?" Delirious, she says, "Yes. I would like to buy a tie for my husband." Thinking he is being mocked, he leaves. A few moments later, a woman walks up and says, "Can I help you?" The bleeding woman says, "Yes. Do you have this in any other colors?" The woman shakes her head angrily and strides off. A number of moments pass when a man walks up, kneels down and says, "Can I help you?" The woman, miraculously having shed her delirium, screams, "Yes! I'm wounded and bleeding and I'm afraid I'm going to die! Can you take me to the hospital?" He shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but that isn't my department. The service department is on the fourth floor across from beds and linens." He then gets up and walks away, laughing. She dies an hour later.

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